Murphy's Laws on Litigation



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Bloomfield's law

The most far-reaching judgments are written by the least experienced judges.

Gross's laws

1. If you come to the court session in advance, the judge will be late; if you are late for the meeting, the judge will come on time.

2. Even if your case is the first on the long agenda, it will be heard last - unless you are late.

Templeton's theorem

An unfriendly judge briefing a jury can undermine even your strongest arguments.

Consequence

If the judge instructs the jury in a spirit that is favorable to you, the jury will neglect the judge's instructions.

Bloom's law

The judge's jokes are always witty.

Courtney's add-ons for the trial

The jury's attention to a given testimony is inversely proportional to its importance.

Frost on the courts

The jury is twelve people who determine which of the clients has the best lawyer.

Jury selection law

The lessons learned from the previous jury selection are useless for the next selection.

Consequences

1. The only juror you should definitely challenge is a wealthy legal professional.

2. The high intelligence of the juror is not in your client's best interest.

The law of lies

No matter how often a lie is shown to be false, there is always a certain percentage of people who believe that it is true.

Consequence

This percentage will be presented on the jury.

Court session law

1. You don't realize that your flu is open until you stand right in front of the jury.

2. You understand that you are in trouble when:

a) the judge begins the verdict with the words: "Do you really expect us to believe ...";

b) the jury applauds the very first arguments of your opponent;

c) the court clerk tells you to shut up;

d) the judge and your opponent refer to each other using their childhood nicknames.

Proof methods

No matter how often a lie is shown to be false, there is always a certain percentage of people who believe that it is true.

Consequences

1. Proof using links to nonexistent authorities.

2. Proof by the method of bringing to disgust.

3. Proof by attribution to someone.

4. Method of least surprise.

5. Proof by waving your hands.

6. Proof by intimidation.

7. The method of postponement pending trial.

8. Proof by reducing to a chain of irrelevant lemmas.

9. The method of converging irrelevance.

Blackburn Rule of Errors

Your opponent's mistakes are never recorded. Your own mistakes are always exposed to the jury.

Terry Principle

Your opponent's witnesses are always more credible than yours.

Judge Fanin's Law

Damage is followed by liability.

Mendelssohn's laws

1. No matter is settled before full payment is made.

2. There is no such thing as "our" lawyer.

The principle of proximity

Relationships with opponents are often more cordial than relationships with colleagues.

Law of defeat

The worst defeat you will suffer from a lawyer who studied law in absentia.

Sachs law

If you have two portfolios, you will take the wrong one to court.

The sworn testimony dilemma

In a sworn affidavit, critical information will remain unaffected.

Pratt's postulate

The more effort you put into preparing your trial, the more chances you have for a last-minute amicable agreement.


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